


Sunrays on the snow

by belgiankpopper



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Dog Café owner Felix, Felix literally being a sunshine, M/M, Please read the beginning notes, The Stray Kids ensemble is mentioned, a christmas miracle bc i'm a sucker for those, happy holidays!, i still can't tag properly, someone pls teach me to tag properly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:35:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28263240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belgiankpopper/pseuds/belgiankpopper
Summary: Prompt #44: Hyunjin/anyOn Christmas Day, Hyunjin is set to die. But on Christmas Eve, Hyunjin falls in love.Or, Hyunjin’s Christmas miracle: a smile filled with light, in the middle of winter.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30
Collections: STAY CAROLS 2020





	Sunrays on the snow

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE PROCEEDING TO READ
> 
> TW // SUICIDE ATTEMPT , SCARS , MENTION OF LOSS OF LOST FAMILY MEMBER  
> I must put an important trigger warning before you start reading the following story.  
> The story includes a suicide attempt and mentions scars and the loss of a loved one. Please proceed reading only if you feel comfortable doing so. Take care of yourselves first.
> 
> This was not fully beta-read, so please forgive me for any mistakes, whether grammatically or not. Any constructive criticism is welcomed with open arms :3
> 
> also: This story contains a spoiler about the drama "Crash landing on you", like, actually about something that happens at the end, so please proceed to reading after you've finished the drama. I don't want to spoil anyone (again) ;-;
> 
> To the prompter:  
> Dear prompter, I hope I gave your prompt the story it deserved. Thank you for this.

“This is where it ends, isn’t it?”

His feet were dangling above the water, fingers tracing over the edge of the bridge where the young man was sitting.

The hoarse voice spoke up again. 

“All these help numbers, and we still find bodies in the river once a month.” _And mine will join them._

A soulless laugh. 

The dangling feet got retracted to the edge, and the tall figure stood up. 

His coat floated together with the wind. Why had he even bothered bringing one?

The streetlight next to him flickered, once, twice, to then turn off, plunging him in the dark. _Looks like someone else is joining me._

He had thought it all out. He just couldn’t think of any reason to live anymore.

He just couldn’t. His dreams were shattered. He was lonely. He was broken. 

He tried to, really. He promised. But he couldn’t anymore. He was exhausted. 

He had written two letters. Had taken his time writing them, staining each of them with tears.

_“The demons took over. I’m sorry.”_ The letter for his dad. He wouldn’t see his dad’s reaction to it.

_“I’ll be joining hell soon, just like you wanted.”_ The one for his foster family.

Hyunjin was still questioning why he even wrote them one. 

Not that questioning it now was important. It’s not like he would go back. He would never go back to them.

“ _Welcome to your new home, Hyunjin”, the mom told him. A household of 4 others, and a dad._

_He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to be anywhere but here._

_“You’ll be placed into a foster home”, the lady told him, after they took away his dad. “They will take care of you while your dad gets the treatments he needs.”_

_Sure, Hyunjin knew he needed the treatment. He knew his dad wasn’t supposed to hit him after drinking a whole bottle of whiskey. He knew that his dad drank because his mom died._

_But that is why he couldn’t lose his dad as well. He had already lost his mom, he didn’t want to lose his only other family member._

  
  


The letters felt heavy in his pocket. 

He shrugged his coat off, and dropped it behind him on the road. 

His eyes looked down at the river, and he gulped.

Even in these moments, he hated his fear of heights. But for the one time he could brave fear, It would be the one and only time he did so. 

The thought brought tears to his eyes, the scars on his arm and back burning. 

He pushed the memories out. 

“At least, let me think of the good memories for one last time.”

A tear rolled past his cheek.

A broken voice.

“ _Please._ ”

But he couldn’t think of anything. Happy memories don’t exist in this world.

Blinking once, another tear rolled past his cheek. A bell chimed midnight in the background.

“ _Merry Christmas, Hyunjin._ ”

\----

Clinging door keys could be heard over the soft jazz-like Christmas music coming through the speakers of the street.

Felix was closing off his café. On Mondays his shop is usually closed, but he opened today for all the lonely souls on Christmas Eve. They could find peace, rest and cuddles in the dog café Felix had put up some years before. He did close earlier than usual, so he could still go on a walk by himself. 

As much as he loved the puppies and they were great company, he sometimes longed for something else. Maybe, _someone_ else. 

A stroll would be the perfect way to get his mind off of those things. 

After making sure that all the puppies were back in their original baskets, Felix closed the door of his shop. Minho had already closed his flower shop yesterday evening, early, joining his own boyfriend for Christmas. He had invited Felix over, but his answer stayed the same, just like every year.

_“You know what I’m going to answer, don’t you, Hyung?”_

_“I don’t want to leave the puppies alone for Christmas Day, they also deserve a nice Christmas Eve and Christmas Day”, Minho repeated Felix’s yearly excuse, trying to copy his friend’s deep voice. “Yeah, yeah, I know the drill. But are you sure? You know Chan wouldn’t mind having you over in the slightest.”_

_“It’s your first Christmas with Chan-hyung since living together, Minho-hyung. I don’t want to interrupt that in the slightest. And no offence, but I don’t feel like three-wheeling either.”_

That was a lie, Minho and Chan were always careful to make Felix feel included when they were with each other. And it was always a success, because it never felt awkward. Before Minho & Chan got together, they were best friends. Minho met Chan through Felix at uni, Chan being Felix’s “godfather/mentor/whatever you want to call it” older student to help him out. As they were both originally from Australia, it helped Felix a lot to adapt. Minho, Felix’s roommate back then, met Chan when Felix had a study session with him at their dorm. 

Needless to say, those two hit it off in the blink of an eye. Even though the youngest had teased them a lot before, he was genuinely happy for them. And he also knew the two older ones hadn’t seen each other in a while, both being very busy this time of the year. 

Minho’s flower shop always bloomed during Christmas and Chan, being a music teacher at an arts school, always had multiple Christmas performances to put up, whether they were his students’ or his own. 

_“And anyways, I already have plans.” Felix said softly._

_“Walk around the Christmas market and visit your sister’s grave?”_

_Felix’s silence was an answer in itself._

_Minho let out a sigh. “I know it’s your tradition, but don’t forget to also do something… you know… fun? Not too depressing. I know the importance, but don’t forget it’s Christmas and you know Chaeryoung would have wanted you to do something that makes you smile, as well.”_

_“I know, although taking care of the dogs is a very big contender for that place.”_

_Minho chuckled. “I should have seen that one coming. But for real, take care of yourself, okay?”_

_“Yes yes, Hyung, I promise.”_

_“I’ll take your word for it. Here.” the older said, passing him a flower pot, filled with christmas roses. “Tell her I said hi.”_

_Two sad smiles._

_“I will.”_

With the door of the shop closed and most puppies calmly lying down in their sleeping spaces, Felix could go out for a bit of the night. His warm beanie on his head, he tightened his jacket around him, picked up the flowers and bag he left by his feet, and walked into the night, his way lit up by christmas lights.

The wind was icy, and the young boy was glad he took his gloves with him. The weather did not seem to be in a good mood. 

The icy wind wasn’t strong, but you could feel it against your skin. Felix was glad it wasn’t snowing, it was already slippery enough. 

As cold as the weather was, so warm and cozy was the surrounding area. 

Every year, the city would put their time into decorating the area. The street was lit up with Christmas lights, hanging above the streets and hanging over surrounding bushes. The center grand plaza was occupied by a gigantic Christmas tree, decorated with lights itself. 

Both couples and lonely souls were crowding the sidewalks, taking their small stroll through the lights. A lot of them were taking selfies, but a lot of them also held a camera and took pictures of the lights hanging all over the city. “Wonderful, my feed is going to be filled with aesthetical pictures again _”,_ he thought. Felix wasn’t going to complain though, he loved those and usually took a lot of them for the Instagram page of his shop. Dogs and fairy lights? A perfect combination, in Felix’s opinion.

Everyone seemed to be in their own little world, and none the less could be said for Felix. Even if this time of the year was a bit sad to the café owner, he was always in awe in front of the decorations, every year again. He hoped that one day, he could be one of the couples strolling between the lights, instead of being on his own. “One day,” he thought, “one day I’ll be one of them”, a sad smile appearing on his lips. 

Felix continued his traditional walk until the cemetery. The lights faded more and more the closer he got to his destination, but there were still enough lights to not make it sinister. He was glad that this area wasn’t exaggeratedly lit up like the rest was, but that there were some lights anyways. It gave the area a lighter atmosphere than the sad one it usually had. A cemetery never really brought happy feelings, anyway.

Felix stopped in front of the gate, pulled up the flowers in his arms once, tightened his grip around the little bag in his hand and entered. 

He knew the way by heart now, having been here multiple times a year. He arrived at his final destination, crouched down and swiped away some leftover snow that had made its way onto the cold stone. His eyes flew over the words carved into the stone. 

_Lee Chaeryoung_

_°15 September 1998 - ♱ 2 November 2016_

_A dear sister and friend. Forever in our hearts._

“Even shadows need light to exist”, Felix read out loud. 

It was his sister’s favorite quote, always repeating it to Felix so he would remember it. When the gravestone maker asked him if he wanted a special text to be added, Felix requested if that could be written on the stone. The maker gave him a smile, which Felix had returned, even if it was small. 

The café owner took off his gloves, opened his bag and pulled out the small brush and the small shovel he had taken with him. 

“Minho asked me to tell you he said hi”, Felix started, taking away the previous flower pot out of its spot. 

“He is spending his first Christmas with Chan in their new apartment. I’m so happy for them, they seem so happy together. You would have smiled seeing them together”, he continued while brushing the stone. Some leaves had fallen onto the grave, and some dirt had piled up as well. 

“I know, I know, I should have spent Christmas with them, but you know I like to spend it with the doggos. They are all doing well, oh and Winnie got adopted! The family is lovely, I’m really glad we could find a home for our old buddy. 

He pulled out some extra tissues for the mud that stained on some places, and wiped. 

“I’m almost done paying the loan I used to start up the shop! Soon, I won’t have to worry about that loan anymore, and I’ll be able to start freshening up both the shop, and the apartment above. They’re still great, don’t worry, but there’s a need to paint a bit, and I’d like to invest in some new furniture for now.”

He placed the new pot of flowers into the spot of the previous one, and moved the ground to finish it up and make it clean. 

“Minho made a bouquet of Christmas Roses, he chose the ones that are as beautiful as you. And they really are gorgeous.” A tear rolled over his cheek.

“I really miss you, you know?” 

Felix stood up and swept his hands over his pants to get them clean, and put back his gloves on. He took his bag and the old flower pot, giving another look at the stone. 

“I love you, sis. See you next time.”

He walked out, put the old flower bouquet in the bin outside, and continued his way.

\----

As it got later, the wind got colder. _It’s especially cold tonight, I should have checked the temperatures_ , Felix thought with a sigh.

Felix resumed his walk through the city, and took a detour. Every year, he would take a detour after his annual Christmas visit to the graveyard. The city lights were everywhere, and were definitely worth the long way home, every time again. 

His feet led him to the bridge, which had less decorations. He didn’t need to cross it, but a movement caught his eyes. He saw a boy, dangling his legs over the border, which was actually a pretty _dangerous_ thing to be happening. The boy stood up, and stayed up on the edge. The lamp next to him flickered once, twice, to turn off completely. 

Felix realized what he was going to do and his feet reacted on their own. He didn’t even feel his body moving towards the boy until he realized he could see him shrug off his coat, even with the darkness enveloping him. 

The coat landed on the ground, and Felix started running. 

“Hey!” 

No response.

“HEY!!”

A bell chimed midnight in the background. 

The boy’s body started going forward, ready to fall into the depths of the river.

“NO!”

\----

Hyunjin felt a sudden warmth grab his wrist, to feel his body being pulled back, landing half on the snow, and half on a body warmer than his.

A pair of arms grabbed him into a tight hug, Hyunjin’s blood still pumping adrenaline due to what he just tried to do. It came all crashing down on him and he cried. He cried, and cried, and cried. He let everything out, the adrenaline included. He did just try to- 

He let out a sob. He could vaguely register that he was getting this stranger’s shirt completely wet, and that there was a _stranger_ hugging him. But he felt so safe and warm in these unknown arms, that he didn’t question it. 

For the first time in ages, he felt _safe_. 

They stayed there, in their tight embrace, keeping each other warm.

\-----

When the stranger’s shaking switched to shivering, Felix gently lifted him up with him. He carefully detached himself from the taller stranger, took out a package of tissues out of his pocket, and gave him one. The stranger gave him a small smile, a nod, and Felix smiled right back. A gentle tug on the corners of his lips.

As he blew his nose, the café owner grabbed the discarded coat on the ground, shaking it a bit to remove the excess of snow. When that was done, he turned back around to face the young stranger. 

The stranger had finished blowing his nose and put the tissue in his jeans pocket. Felix propped the other’s jacket carefully between his legs, immediately making his jeans wet as well. Oh well, he could deal with that later.

He took off his jacket, the stranger looking at him, confused.

“May I?” Felix gently asked. The stranger understood what he was pointing at, but seemed hesitant. 

“My hoodie is really warm enough to hold it up. You don’t need to worry about me.” 

The stranger still seemed hesitant, but nodded.

Felix approached him and gently draped his own jacket over the taller’s shoulders. He took his beanie, shook it, and asked permission again, to which he got a shy nod. He gently discarded some stray hair strands out of the stranger’s face and put the beanie on his head. He made sure it held on properly and took a step back. The jacket was not that big on the other, but at least it wasn’t too small. Lucky that Felix likes taking a size bigger than his usual one when picking out clothes. The beanie suited him perfectly and the whole made him look tiny, even though he was at least 5 to 10 cm taller than him. Felix shouldn’t be saying this about someone he just met, and in these circumstances, but he found the taller oddly endearing.

“Thank you.” His voice sounded a little bit harsh, probably due to crying. 

Felix smiled. “It’s no problem.” A little light lit up in Felix’s head.

“Oh! I forgot to present myself, where the heck are my manners- oh well nowhere if I almost start swearing but anyways-”

Hyunjin’s lip corners tugged into a small smile.

“I’m Felix.” The stranger nodded. “We’re going to get a nice cold if we stay too long outside like this. I own a small coffee shop, can I offer you something to drink to warm yourself up?” 

  
  


Hyunjin really didn’t want to impose on this stranger. Well his brain rationalized he shouldn’t. But his heart which felt safe, didn’t want to just let the stranger run off. And he was exhausted. And it’s not like he actually had some place to go to. So he nodded.

“Awesome, thank you for letting me do so. Follow me!” 

Felix turned around, but still looked at Hyunjin, hinting that the taller man had to follow him. Hyunjin stepped forward, and they started walking side by side.

They walked for a while in silence, when Hyunjin broke it.

“Hyunjin.” 

Felix’s face turned to look at him.

“My name’s Hyunjin.”

Felix’s smile was radiant.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Hyunjin.”

\----

The walk to the coffee shop was in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Well, as comfortable as it could be. 

As they arrived in front of the shop, Felix turned around to face Hyunjin. “You’re going to have to be silent, the little ones are all sleeping.”

“The little ones?”

“Oh… I forgot to tell you, I think. I own a coffee shop, yes, but it’s a dog café. I hope you like dogs?”

“A _dog_ café?”

“Yes?”

“Am I allowed to pet them?” 

“Of course, but maybe not tonight. Most are sleeping, I wouldn’t want to wake them up; it’ll be a hassle in the morning.”

Hyunjin nodded, guessing he was talking about taking care of all the energetic dogs in the morning. 

Felix took his keys from his pocket, and opened the door. He did it calmly, trying to not let the little bell at the door ring. He pointed at it to notify Hyunjin, who nodded in understanding.

They walked inside the dark café, the only lights being the small Christmas decorations hanging up. Felix turned on the lights, illuminating the room. Hyunjin’s eyes widened upon the sight.

The coffee shop had a really cozy atmosphere, and he felt himself relax immediately. There were multiple tables with chairs, probably to sit and eat at, but also some seating areas with some dog toys and brushes. He could see dog baskets spread all over the shop. He thought he had also spotted a little garden in the back. In the furthest right corner, you could see a Christmas tree, ornamented with little dog toys and little bones instead of Christmas balls. The balls that were hanging up had images of dogs, or little dogs inside. A big star crowned the top of the tree, embellishing it. On the left side of the shop, a bit further in the back, a wooden bar could be found, with comfortable-looking seats settled in front of it. The wooden bar was refined in an extraordinary way. A red cloth was settled over the bar itself, to join the Christmas atmosphere in the shop. On the opposite side, there was a fireplace, just like the ones you find in chalets found in the mountains. Above it, you could find some dog statues with Santa Claus hats on them. 

Felix closed the door behind Hyunjin as the taller walked inside. He wasn’t sure where to set himself, so he stood still, shuffling awkwardly. Felix walked past him calmly, moving towards the counter. 

“You can set yourself on one of the chairs here! Do you want some tea, some coffee, or maybe hot coco?” 

Hyunjin took tiny steps, and settled on one of the chairs by the bar. They really are as comfy as they looked. “I would love some tea, thank you”, Hyunjin answered in a soft voice. Felix smiled at him, and took the water boiler. He filled it with water, and turned it on.

“I’ll light the fireplace while it’s boiling, you can choose a tea from this box. Would you like a small something to eat?” 

“T-that is fine, thank you.” 

“Okidoki!” Hyunjin’s lips slightly lifted upwards at the small answer. Felix wanted to move past Hyunjin, but stopped in his tracks. 

“Maybe give me your coat? I’ll hang them by the chimney so they can dry.” 

“O-oh, t-that’s really sweet, thank you very much.” 

“That’s no problem, let’s get ourselves warm.”

Hyunjin nodded and pulled the big box of tea towards him, opened it and started scanning over the different kinds of tea. 

Felix moved from behind the counter with some papers and a lighter to turn on the chimney. He opened the window of the fireplace, placed the paper and also took some extra firelighters to help the wood to start burning. He placed some wood inside, with the extra papers and firelighters and lit up the latter ones. 

He took the picket to the wood and papers a bit around, and closed the window so that the fire could take in peace. He went back to the counter, grabbed two mugs and moved towards the boiler which had finished warming up the water. 

He turned around to face Hyunjin, put the two cups on the bar and looked at the tea he had in his hands.

“Lavender tea?” Hyunjin shyly nodded.

Hovering his hands over the box, Felix looked for his favorite evening tea. 

“I’ll grab some… Chamomile tea. Oh, I should buy some soon, I’m going to be out of it.” 

He gently took over the little tea bag from Hyunjin’s hands, put it in one mug, and put his tea bag in his own cup. Hyunjin looked over while Felix took the boiler to pour the hot water into the 2 mugs.

His cup had a dog image on it, how ironic. Felix’s cup had the word “sunshine” written on it. Fitting, Hyunjin thought. 

After pouring the water, he gave the cup back to Hyunjin, for which he received a small thank you. 

He put the water boiler aside, and ducked down behind the corner to grab a little plate, which he put on the bar, and then duck back down to grab some speculoos.

“I know you said you didn’t need any, but still, have some if you want.” He gave the taller one a smile, which Hyunjin returned. 

Felix looked over at the fire, realizing he might need to add some wood to it and would not have enough with what he had put next to the fireplace. 

“I’ll be right back, I need to grab some extra wood, or else we’re going to run out.” 

Hyunjin nodded, his tea cup firmly held in his hands, warming himself up. 

Felix turned around, and went through the door behind him. The door said “private entry”, to which Hyunjin assumed that must be where the dogs are if he couldn’t see any in the shop. 

Suddenly, he heard 2 barks, and Felix questioning “Why are the both of you still awake? I put you to bed hours ago!” Felix walked back into the room, multiple pieces of wood in his arms. He held the door open and a big dog came running out of the private area, followed by a smaller one. The first one was a golden retriever, the other had long hair that was both black and white. Hyunjin had no idea what breed the dog could be. Both were wearing a necklace with a small circle hanging at it. Probably the contact information for if the dog would get lost, Hyunjin assumed.

Felix just shook his head in disbelief, but he wasn’t exactly surprised either. 

“Hyunjin, I hope you don’t mind our 2 joiners here, they were apparently still awake. The moment they heard me enter inside, I had both come at me to say hi and didn’t want to go back to sleep. I really have a soft heart for them both.” 

“It’s completely fine, they’re really adorable! What are their names?” 

“The labrador is Cally, I have had him for a while. Kkami, over there, is a recent joiner. He’s very shy, and Cally became his best friend in no time after he arrived. It took me a while to get him to open up to me though, he is really afraid of people.”

“Oh, okay.”

Cally excitedly came to say hi, happily walking towards Hyunjin to hopefully get some pats. Hyunjin got off his chair, but not without looking at Felix first. “Can I pat them?” 

Felix’s smile beamed. “Of course you can! I can’t assure you that Kkami will let you pat him, but Cally seems delighted to meet you!” 

Hyunjin crouched down to pat Cally, the little boi easily giving in, giving the stranger some licks. Cally was enjoying the pats, Hyunjin scratching him behind the ears, under the chin, and later on patting him over the stomach as Cally laid down. 

Felix went to put the wood down next to the chimney, and put another piece of it inside. He moved the logs around, closed the window again and proceeded to rearrange the logs in a more proper way. 

At some point, he heard a little dog trotting towards him, Cally appearing next to him. Felix looked at the dog in confusion, thinking he was still being pet by Hyunjin. He turned around and was met by a view he didn’t think of as possible.

While Felix was arranging the logs, Kkami had also approached Hyunjin. While Hyunjin scratched Cally with one hand, he slowly extended the other towards the small dog. He approached Hyunjin carefully, as if scared to be bitten, and came to sniff at this hand. He proceeded to sniff around the whole of his hand, and then his wrist, covered by his sweater, then back to his hand. He gave Hyunjin’s hand a small lick, then pushed his head into it. Hyunjin carefully started to pat Kkami’s head, giving him some scratches. Hyunjin had then moved to sit cross-legged, giving him a little bit more ease to pat the animals. Cally had then left him to go see what Felix was doing, Kkami taking the opportunity to come closer and carefully shuffle to nestle himself between Hyunjin’s crossed legs, the scene Felix just witnessed.

Carefully, Felix approached them, stopping in front of them. 

“I’ve never witnessed Kkami being so comfortable around anyone, this makes me really happy.”

Hyunjin looked up at the freckled boy, a soft smile resting on his face. For the first time since Felix had seen him, Hyunjin’s eyes sparkled “Yeah,” Hyunjin continued, “he’s endearing.”

He continued to pat the little boi, but then remembered a hot drink was waiting for him and didn’t want it to go in vain. Felix had prepared it especially for him, in the end. He wanted to stand up, but didn’t want to break Kkami’s comfort.

“Do you think he’d let me pick him up?” 

“Mmmh,” Felix considered, “you can always try? He never let me and it’s always a hassle to try and get him to the vet.” 

Hyunjin carefully placed his hands under the small body, lifting him up into his arms, holding the dog securely. He turned the chair, placed himself on it, turned towards the bar and placed Kkami on his lap, leaving his left arm there to stabilize the dog. 

He picked up his drink, which cooled down to a pleasant temperature, and drank from it. Felix had just looked at the scene in awe, happy to see Kkami be comfortable with another human being except for him. He moved back behind the counter, Cally lying down behind him in his basket, and lift up his tea

Both boys started drinking their tea in silence, enjoying each other's presence, the silence broken by the crackling of the fire in the background. 

\--- 

Hyunjin was seated on Felix’s sofa, Kkami back on his lap, sleeping. The small dog fell asleep while being pat and was now peacefully resting on Hyunjin’s legs. 

Cally was sleeping across from him, in his own basket. Felix had gone to grab some fresh clothes for Hyunjin that he could sleep in. 

_“Actually, I don’t want to pop your bubble with Kkami, but do you have somewhere to go tonight?” Felix asked, when their teas had gotten a refill. Both boys were sitting in one of the seating areas, patting both dogs who were relishing in the attention._

_Hyunjin thought back to the small one room apartment that he has, in bad condition, for which he wasn’t able to pay rent the previous month. If he’d go back now, he’d get kicked out._

_Hyunjin not answering, Felix assumed there was either none, or one he didn’t or couldn’t go back to. “You could stay here, for the night.”_

_Hyunjin’s head shot up, his eyes wide. “You don’t have to pay for anything or whatever!” Felix answered quickly, moving his hands frantically, hoping the boy didn’t misunderstand._

_“Also, I really don’t want to send away the first human being with whom Kkami feels so comfortable.”_

_Hyunjin thought about it. He really didn’t want to go back but-_

_“I wouldn’t be a bother? Don’t you have to open the shop tomorrow?”_

_“Oh, I’m closed for Christmas, I only reopen the 26th. So you’re fine! And no, you wouldn’t be a bother at all.”_

_Hyunjin had a pensive face, but he knew he had nothing to lose. “If I’m allowed to stay and wouldn’t be a bother, then I would like to take you upon that offer. Let me at least help out somewhere?”_

_Felix smiled, and for a second Hyunjin thought he saw sunshine in the midst of the night._

_“Sure, we can think of something! First, let’s go upstairs, so we can actually go to sleep.”_

That’s how Hyunjin had ended up on Felix’s sofa, in the apartment above the shop, where Felix lived. Apparently, Cally & Kkami were Felix’s dogs, as they were allowed upstairs. The other dogs (that Hyunjin saw when going upstairs) were all sleeping downstairs in their respective spaces, in the “private entry” area behind the counter. It’s where the dogs stayed when they weren’t out in the shop. They were all up for adoption when people visited the shop, which was the idea behind the shop. 

Felix came back with a big hoodie, and sweatpants, and even a pair of underwear. Hyunjin blushed at the sight of the last one. He took over the clothes from Felix, thanking him. 

“The bathroom is at the end of the hallway, I made the sheets in the guest room, you can sleep in there. I normally don’t allow Kkami into beds because Cally can’t go in them either, but I’ll make an exception this time.” 

Hyunjin gave him a small smile, thanked him again, and met his way to the bathroom, Kkami following him every step of the way. Hyunjin smiled at the sight of the small plush ball at his feet while he was brushing his teeth. He got changed quickly, and went into the guest room. A glass of water awaited him on the nightstand, and the bed was well made. He picked up Kkami, who easily complied, and nestled himself and the dog in the covers. They smelled freshly washed, the odour of lavender coming through his nose. He made himself comfortable and started petting Kkami, who also made himself comfortable. Upon the sight of Kkami falling asleep from the pats, Hyunjin smiled, closed his eyes and fell into slumber.

\--

Hyunjin woke up to Kkami sprinting out of bed, barking together with other dogs that Hyunjin could hear coming from downstairs. He turned around, groaning, and saw the letters on the alarm indicate 8.00AM. 

He didn’t think he could fall back asleep with the sudden wake up he got, so he made his way out of bed. 

He arrived in the living room, and saw some bread, cereals, milk and nutella on the table, with a small post-it.

_“I hope the dogs don’t wake you up, but you would be fortunate to sleep through it if they don’t. When you do wake up and read this, grab something to eat this morning. The water boiler is in the kitchen, next to a coffee machine would you prefer some coffee in the morning. I’m downstairs, giving the dogs food, would you need me. - Felix”_

Hyunjin smiled, thankful for everything Felix is doing. He poured himself a bowl of cereal and a glass of milk and finished both quickly. He wanted to help Felix out downstairs, to thank him for his hospitality. 

He made his way downstairs and found Felix preparing food.

“Yes, yes! I’m making food, give me 5 minutes to finish it off y’all!” His laugh could be heard until the stairs. 

The boy turned around towards one of the dogs. “Birdie, sit. If you’re going to jump on me and make me lose my balance, this food won’t finish preparing itself and we’ll still be here in the afternoon!” He looked up to see Hyunjin standing in the hallway. “Oh, good morning! Did the dogs wake you up? I was hoping they wouldn’t but..”

Hyunjin smiled and nodded. “Kkami ran out of the room, barking to probably follow you downstairs for this.” 

Hyunjin approached him. “Can I help out with anything?’

Felix thought. “You actually can! Give me a minute.” 

Felix finished up the last bowls for the dogs. Hyunjin remarked that every bowl had a name written upon them. 

“There we go, all finished.” The boy turned around to face Hyunjin, and started explaining.

“As you can see, every dog has their own bowl. They all have their own diet, depending on some conditions, body type and heights. Hence why they all have a name on their bowl. Some are also picky eaters and just can’t everything, right, Zola?” Felix laughed when the dog in question, a Jack Russel, reacted to the name. “You can help me out with taking the bowls and distributing them. You just need to call out a name for the dog to follow you. I’ll show you!”

Felix took the bowls with the names Birdie and Zola, the picky eater, turned around and shouted their names. Both came up towards the blonde boy, and followed him. Felix walked towards two cages with the same names written upon them, placing the bowls accordingly. The two dogs started eating when the bowls were on the ground. 

“Just like this! You can do it for Cally and KKami, as they both know you already. You can put their bowls in front of the staircase though, they don’t have their own cages as they sleep upstairs.”

Hyunjin nodded and proceeded to action. He took the bowls with Cally and Kkami’s names upon them, and shouted their names, just like Felix did. He then walked towards the staircase, put down both bowls and the dogs started eating. 

“Perfectly done! Just like that!” Felix’s smile beamed and Hyunjin, again, thought there was extra sunlight in the room. 

Both continued to give the dogs food, and after the 15 dogs had gotten their food, Felix called them all to go into the garden. Felix groaned upon seeing the snow. 

“We’re going to have to clean them all before entering, I’m not cleaning my whole shop again after Sunday’s fiasco.” 

Hyunjin looked at him curiously. “Sunday’s fiasco?” 

Felix sighed, but a smile lingered on the corners of his lips, recalling the memory. He opened the door for the dogs to go outside, closed it when they were all outside and signalled to Hyunjin to follow him. 

“The shop was calm, as the day was ending, and it had started pouring.” 

Hyunjin remembered that day, he was on his way back to his apartment after an exhausting day handing out flyers. Bothboys went back to the “dog room” like Felix calls it, where all the cages, food and other materials were to take care of the dogs. 

“One of the customers had been playing with Sep outside, when the rain fell down. He ran inside, Sep following him, but Sep immediately ran inside, dirtying the whole room. I had to clean it all up later.” Felix walked towards one of the closets, took out two towels and gave one to Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin laughed at the sight of the big brown labrador running around in the shop, making everything dirty and took the towel from Felix’s hands. 

Felix wiggled his eyebrows. “Now it’s our turn to clean them all up after they’ve played outside!” 

“Whelp”, Hyunjin said out loud. “Let’s get this party going?”

Felix laughed, a deep laugh. “Let’s get this party going”, he confirmed. 

The rest of the day, Hyunjin helped out at the shop. They played with the dogs, ate lunch; carrot soup that Felix had made himself, Hyunjin had finished his whole plate, even asking for seconds. They cleaned the shop afterwards, brushed off dust, lit up the chimney when the sky started to somber. 

They had given the dogs their dinner (after having to clean them again as they had gone outside) and were putting them to bed. Felix had shown him how he prepared the food and how he put them all to bed, Hyunjin following his lead to help out. (He might have let some of the croquettes fall down on the ground, and Kkami might have been the first one to eat them, but Felix didn’t say anything.) 

As the last dog was in his cage and both Kkami and Cally were upstairs, Felix started preparing dinner. Hyunjin wanted to help out, so Felix had shown him where the plates and others are, so he could set the table. Hyunjin felt bad, he had to interrupt Felix in his cooking every 5 minutes to ask where something was. Felix didn’t seem to mind though, smiling every time.

They had been eating in silence until Felix broke it. 

“Would you want to come work here?” 

Hyunjin made the mistake of taking a hap of the (delicious) spaghetti (that Felix had made for both of them) at that exact moment and almost choked on his food. 

“Y-you- M-me- Me working here?” Hyunjin finally managed to get out. Felix laughed. “Yes, you, working here. You can stay here even, to make it easier to not have to commute.” 

Hyunjin was baffled. “You’d hire a complete stranger? To both stay and work with you?”

Felix laughed, softly. “You’re not a complete stranger. You already helped me out today and I can tell that you really like dogs and that you'd take good care of them. I will be honest that I don’t know your social skills at the bar or in coffee shops so that will be a discovery over the next few days, but yes, I’d love to hire you.” 

Hyunjin was left perplexed, but mostly felt honored and most importantly, he really wanted the job. No one had ever offered him a job either and he would fight to keep this one, if he was allowed to. He didn’t say all of that though. 

“I’d be honored to.” The smile that Felix gave him back might have been his brightest yet.

“Accepting the offer is a magnificent Christmas present that you’re giving me.” 

“Well, offering the job is the best Christmas present I could ask for.” 

Both smiled at each other, and continued eating in silence.

\---

From there, everything went quickly. The next day, Hyunjin left a couple of hours to go grab some of his stuff at his old place. It’s not like he had much, but he didn’t feel like losing the only things he had been able to call _his_ over the past years. 

When he came back, the shop was filled with people. Felix smiled at him and told him to drop his stuff off in the apartment upstairs and that he would start his training the next day, which also happened.

Hyunjin learned more and more about the dogs and the working of the coffee shop. 

The dogs were all put up for adoption (except for Cally and Kkami, of course, the latter growing closer to Hyunjin over time), but there was a whole process linked to it. When someone wanted to adopt a dog, they had to come back 2 more times, to see if they really got along with the dog. Their home also received a small inspection, together with the dog, and they had a contract to promise to take care of the dog and to keep the shop updated about the process with the dog. They could also always rely on the vet connected to the shop, a good friend of Felix called Jisung, together with his assistent Changbin. The process could take a while sometimes, but it was to assure that the dogs wouldn’t be abandoned again, like they had been before, before they ended up at Felix’s shop.

People could also stay in the shop to pat the dogs and drink some coffee. In the end, it was still as much a dog café as it was a coffee shop. 

Hyunjin also got to meet the two part-time students that worked for Felix, called Seungmin and Jeongin. Jeongin was a bubbly boy, the youngest of the bunch and Seungmin was a little bit more rational and could look cold, but you could see his soft gaze when looking at the dogs.

Hyunjin received training to also serve in the shop on busy days, but also on calm days. Felix got a little bit more time to himself, but also had new and pleasant company. 

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Hyunjin, little by little, found more power back, and his eyes started sparkling more often. Felix’s smile never faltered one second when he saw Hyunjin in the shop. Both boys also started to get to know each other better. 

Of course, not everything was all sunny; You always need both rain and sunshine to create a rainbow. 

The first time Hyunjin broke down was on a calm afternoon, beginning of March. There were multiple customers sitting at the tables, calmly petting the dogs. There was this one endearing little girl playing with the dogs, running around the garden with them. The mom had called her back to their table inside when Hyunjin was bringing their drinks. He had rolled up his sleeves, forgetting that his scars were visible. 

As he turned around, he heard the little girl ask: “Mom, why does the boy have so many scratches on his arm?” The mom took a second to respond upon realizing what her daughter had seen.

“The dogs must have scratched him, it can happen, when you take care of dogs.” 

When Hyunjin brought back the tray to the bar, he rushed back into the private area, leaving a confused Felix behind the bar on his own. Felix asked Jeongin, who was working in the shop that day, if he had seen anything. The younger one started explaining what he had heard and Felix went upstairs to check upon Hyunjin. 

He found the older boy back on the sofa, crying, with Kkami next to him, trying to console him. 

Felix approached him silently and crouched down in front of the boy, taking both of his hands in his. The sleeves were still rolled up, leaving the scars visible. 

Felix gulped, but looked into Hyunjin’s eyes. “May I?” Hyunjin nodded and Felix sat down next to him, taking the older boy into his arms. They stayed there, for a long while. Then Kkami nestled himself between them, licked at Hyunjin’s wrist once or twice and both boys smiled. 

\--- 

After a heavy discussion, Hyunjin went to see a therapist, Felix staying by his side all along his journey. Both boys got closer over time, Hyunjin telling about his foster family that he never wants to go back to, Felix telling about the sister he lost years ago. Felix also learned about Hyunjin’s dream for dancing that his former family shattered into pieces and contacted Chan. He knew that the older’s art school had multiple dance classes in which Hyunjin could participate. Every time Hyunjin came back from the dance classes he attended, his smile was satisfied and his eyes sparkled. Felix would do everything to keep them sparkling.

They exchanged more and more hugs, ending up cuddled on the sofa after busy days, ordering take-out and watching kdramas to which Hyunjin balled his eyes out. (“ _Look, he maybe was an asshole but Dani deserved the love, okay? He wasn’t allowed to die!” Hyunjin had sputtered out, while watching one of the last episodes of “Crash Landing on You”. Felix had just laughed, but he did agree.)_

They were comfortable. They never put a name on their relationship. Hyunjin felt safe in the younger’s arms. Felix had found comfort in the taller boy he met during Christmas. 

\--- 

The last client had left the café, making the bell at the door ring one last time for that evening. Summer was right around the corner, the month of May slowly coming to an end. The sun slowly hiding behind the buildings, leaving space for the starry night.

Felix and Hyunjin had started cleaning in silence, slow jazz music still playing in the background.

It was a comfortable silence, as usual. They didn’t need to talk. They were just enjoying each other’s presence in the dim lights of the shop. 

Hyunjin was putting up the chairs on the tables, while Felix swept the floor. 

Suddenly, Felix's face lit up as he thought of something. He left the broom aside, walked towards the counter, going behind it to reach for his phone.

Hyunjin stilled his own actions to watch the younger’s movements, his eyes filled with curiosity. 

Felix opened one of his playlists, one filled with calm songs that he loved. 

He scrolled through them and when he found the one he was looking for, he pressed play. 

The sounds of violins left the speakers, Hyunjin perking up to listen to the song. 

_It seems we stood and talked, like this, before._

_We looked at each other in the same way then, but I can’t remember where or when._

Felix walked back towards a curious Hyunjin, took both of the older’s hands. 

“Dance with me?” 

Hyunjin smiled. 

_The clothes you are wearing are the clothes you wore_

_The smile you are smiling you were smiling then_

_But I can't remember where or when_

“Only if you let me take the lead.” Felix smiled in response. 

“Of course.” 

Felix placed his hands on Hyunjin’s shoulders and Hyunjin placed his on the younger’s waist. 

They both started swaying to the beat of the music

_Some things that happened for the first time_

_Seem to be happening again_

They kept on swaying until the end of the music, the build up of the violons entrancing Hyunjin to spin Felix around. They both just smiled, and kept dancing into the night, leaving their cleaning work for the next morning.

\--

Months and months had passed and the Christmas season was back around. Lights were lighting up the city, a warm atmosphere joining the cold weather. 

Felix walked outside of his shop, a beanie on his head, jacket tight around him and a bag in his hand. Hyunjin closed the door behind him, a flower pot and a basket of flowers in his arms. Their free hands intertwined fingers and they walked into the city. 

They followed Felix's traditional walk towards the cemetery, and stopped in front of the entrance. Hyunjin squeezed his hand once, Felix squeezing right back, and they entered.

Felix took Hyunjin with him on the path he knew by heart, towards his sister’s grave. 

When they arrived in front of it, Hyunjin read out loud _“Even shadows need light to exist.”_

“Yeah, it’s what my sister always told me.” 

“She seems lovely.” 

“She was.” Felix gave him a sad smile. He took care of giving the old bouquet of flowers to Hyunjin, who went to the trash bin at the entrance to throw them in there. Felix took care to carefully place the new flowers, cleaned the grave and stood up. Hyunjin waited for him at the entrance, giving him some space to talk to his sister, but Felix didn’t need to tell her much.

_“Thank you.”_

Felix walked away, joining Hyunjin at the entrance and both left the cemetery, hand in hand.

They walked towards the bridge with the basket of flowers that Minho had prepared for Hyunjin. Daisies and Christmas roses filled it. Daisies for a new beginning, and Christmas roses for _the Christmas atmosphere, for god’s sake!_ As Minho put it. 

At the entrance of the bridge, it was Felix’s turn to give Hyunjin a squeeze. Hyunjin took a big breath, and squeezed right back. They walked towards the streetlight where they first met almost a year ago.

They turned their bodies to face the river, standing behind the rail.

“Ready?” Felix asked.

“Ready”, Hyunjin answered, full of confidence.

They both took a handful of flowers, and took a step closer to the rail.

“On the count of three: one, two, _three_!”

Daisies and Christmas roses dazzled into the river. 

Felix and Hyunjin turned to look at each other, both a soft smile resting on their lips, fingers intertwined between them.

An unspoken gratitude. 

We all wait for a small miracle, don’t we? 

Last year, Hyunjin had stopped waiting for his. He thought wouldn’t have any. Miracles were only for others.

He had given up. 

But Hyunjin’s miracle appeared, under the form of sunshine, in the falling snow.

A smile filled with sunshine, lighting up the dark.

_Because everyone’s allowed to have their Christmas miracle, aren’t they?_

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hi! it's-ah-me~
> 
> I write sometimes, I guess, so if you wanna follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/belgiankpopper) or shout at me on my [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/belgiankpopper) hehe


End file.
